I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
