I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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