i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
