we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
