I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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