This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
