would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
