dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize