you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
