Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Girls should come with a carfax report
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
