I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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