i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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