roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just cut my nipple shaving
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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