I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
