YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wear drunk well.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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