We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
