so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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