just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
