As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
