Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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