I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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