It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
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