I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
