just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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