Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
