The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
