The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
