why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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