You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
