I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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