It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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