from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it was like eating out sand paper
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
