Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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