bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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