Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
