Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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