This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
