Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
