To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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