I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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