Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
