Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
