I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
