just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
