He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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