I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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