Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
