Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
time to smoke my breakfast
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
