I wish I could punch you in the face.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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