i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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