mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
