Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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