WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize