Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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