So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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