I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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