He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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