Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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