i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize