No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
