I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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