We're facebook friends in real life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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