Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
