Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
