You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
