wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
