he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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