my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
