I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dignity is for republicans.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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