We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize