I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
