Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize