billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
