sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
