if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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